Sexual Health

The Role of Values

Sexual decision-making is deeply personal. At its core, it begins with a clear understanding of your own values, the guiding principles that shape your identity and influence how you move through the world. These values might be rooted in family traditions, cultural or religious beliefs, personal experiences, or your own internal compass. Taking time to reflect on what matters most to you provides a strong foundation for making choices that feel right, particularly in the realms of sexuality and relationships. If you need support clarifying your values, try this activity here.

Why Knowing Your Values Matters

Your values influence the boundaries you set, the types of relationships you pursue, and how you engage with sexual activity. They’re not static, meaning they can (and probably will) evolve as you grow, gain new experiences, or reexamine your priorities. And it’s important to remember that your values may not always align with those of your partners. That’s not necessarily a problem; it’s a space for dialogue and mutual understanding. What matters most is that respect remains at the center of those conversations. Understanding your values helps you honor those choices and communicate them with clarity and confidence.

Making Choices That Honor All of You

Sexual decision-making rarely exists in absolutes. More often, it lives in the nuanced space where sometimes, sexual decisions are made through careful thought, and other times, things unfold in the moment. Both are valid. The important question is: What feels right for you? Being clear on your values can help you answer that honestly, whether in reflection or in the moment.

Reasons someone might choose to engage in sexual activity	Reasons someone might not choose to engage in sexual activity
Internal desire or pleasure A desire for intimacy or to feel closer to a partner Social status or peer influence Cultural or societal norms And many more	Not feeling ready Lack of desire or interest Personal or spiritual values Influence from family, religion, or community And many more

One way to navigate this complexity is through the Head, Heart, Body model from the Centre for Sexuality in Calgary, CA

• Head – Is this something I genuinely want? Does it align with what I believe and value?
• Heart – Do I feel emotionally safe, seen, and respected with this person?
• Body – Is my body responding in a way that feels comfortable, consensual, and right for me?

Each part of you has something important to say, and ideally, when all three are aligned, that’s a good sign to proceed. However, if any part feels unsure, uncomfortable, or disconnected, it’s okay to pause, reflect, or say no. Consent isn’t a one-time checklist, it’s an ongoing, active process that includes checking in with yourself as well as your partner.

Ultimately, you deserve relationships and experiences that are grounded in respect, trust, and mutual care. By making decisions that align with your values and reflect your full self, you create space for meaningful connection and empower yourself to move forward with confidence.

A healthy relationship—whether romantic, platonic, or sexual—is rooted in mutual respect, trust, open communication, and clearly defined boundaries. In these relationships, both people feel valued, safe, and free to be themselves. Every connection, no matter the type, deserves care, intention, and a shared commitment to growth.

Qualities of Healthy Relationships:

• Open and honest communication: You and your partner can talk openly, even about difficult topics, without fear of judgment or retaliation.
• Mutual respect: Each person’s choices, boundaries, and individuality are honored.
• Equality: Power and decision-making are shared; no one dominates or controls the other.
• Trust and support: You encourage each other’s goals and trust one another deeply.
• Freedom and autonomy: You feel secure expressing yourself, maintaining outside relationships, and pursuing personal interests.
• Sexual autonomy: All sexual activity is fully consensual and is never coerced or assumed. Boundaries and desires are openly discussed and honored.
• Honesty and transparency: Sharing relevant personal histories (like sexual health or relationship expectations) is done with care and respect.
• Healthy conflict resolution: Disagreements are addressed with patience and a shared commitment to understanding, not “winning.”

To learn more about the signs, watch these videos from OneLove on Healthy Relationships or Unhealthy Relationships.

Understanding Consent

Consent is often talked about in the context of sex, but it’s much broader than that. At its core, consent is an everyday practice—a way of navigating shared experiences with clarity and care. It’s about respecting each other’s boundaries and desires in all types of interactions.

You may have heard the acronym FRIES, Freely Given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific, as a guide for understanding consent. It’s a useful starting point, especially for naming the basics. But real relationships are more nuanced than acronyms allow. Consent isn’t just a set of boxes to check, it’s a conversation that unfolds continuously.

That’s why our focus shifts to ethical consent, a term that consent educator, Sarah Casper describes as “navigating your boundaries and desires, alongside the boundaries and desires of another.” It’s not just about hearing a “yes” or “no”; it’s about tuning into each other, asking questions, checking in, and being open to what changes.

Consent happens all the time. It’s in the small things: choosing a movie, deciding what to eat, or whether you’re in the mood to talk. It’s a mindset, not a moment - a willingness to listen, to pause, to adapt.

Boundary Setting: A Key to Healthy Relationships

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. They help define what we’re comfortable with and ensure that others understand how we expect to be treated. Setting boundaries is a way of identifying our limits and expressing our needs, making it clear to others what feels acceptable and what doesn’t. But setting boundaries doesn’t mean we try to control other people’s behavior—it’s about taking responsibility for our own actions and ensuring that we treat others with respect.

An important part of boundary setting is learning to respect others’ boundaries, even if we don’t agree with them. Pushing someone to change their mind about a boundary, even subtly, doesn’t help foster a healthy relationship. If someone says no, we must respect it, no matter how disappointed we might feel. As adrienne marie brown reminds us in Pleasure Activism: “Your no makes the way for your yes. Boundaries create the container within which your yes is authentic. Being able to say no makes yes a choice.”

When boundaries are respected, both partners can thrive in the relationship. Whether it’s deciding on plans for the day or navigating intimate moments, clear communication is crucial. A relationship where boundaries are respected becomes a space of trust, safety, and authenticity, where both people feel free to express their desires without fear of backlash or manipulation.

Navigating Consent and Boundaries After a Breakup

Consent and boundaries are not confined to the duration of a relationship, they continue to matter after a breakup. Even after things end, respecting someone’s boundaries is part of practicing ethical consent.

A healthy breakup involves accepting the other person’s decision to move on without pressure or coercion. This means there should be no stalking, no harassment, and no attempts to manipulate the other person into staying in the relationship. Respecting someone’s choice to leave is just as important as respecting their choice to stay.

Breakups can be painful, but trying to hold on to someone who has made it clear they want space isn’t love, it’s control. When we practice ethical consent, we honor the other person’s boundaries, no matter how difficult that might be.

Final Thoughts

Healthy relationships aren’t perfect, but they are intentional. They are rooted in respect, supported by communication, and sustained by clear, mutually honored boundaries. Consent isn’t a one-time thing, it’s a continuous, caring conversation that helps everyone feel seen, heard, and safe.

When we commit to practicing ethical consent and respecting boundaries in all our relationships, romantic, platonic, sexual, or somewhere in between, we create the possibility for deeper connection, greater trust, and a lot more love.

Choosing a method of contraception, or deciding whether you want to use one at all, is a personal decision that should be informed, empowered, and free from judgment. The primary goal of contraception is to prevent pregnancy, but certain methods also support menstrual health, hormonal imbalances, or reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Types of Contraceptives Include:

• Hormonal Methods: These alter hormone levels to prevent ovulation or thicken cervical mucus.
  • Examples include: Pills, patches, rings, injections, and implants that regulate hormones to prevent ovulation.
• Barrier Methods: These create a physical barrier that prevents sperm from reaching an egg. Barrier methods are the only form of contraception that also reduce STI risk.
  • Examples include: External (male) condoms, internal (female) condoms, and dental dams prevent sperm from reaching the egg and reduce STI risk.
• Long-Acting Reversible Contraceptives (LARCs): Can be hormonal or not and typically need to be inserted by a medical professional, but are designed to offer years of protection without daily maintenance.
  • Examples include: Interuterine Devices (IUDs), which can be hormonal or made from copper, Implants (such as Nexplanon), which is hormonal and placed inside one’s arm.
• Emergency Contraception: Typically pills that can be taken after unprotected sex to reduce the chance of pregnancy, but are not meant to be a substitute for other contraceptive methods.
  • Examples: Plan B, Ella. Note: There are weight limitations to taking this medication.
• Lifestyle Methods: These involve planning and communication rather than physical products.
  • Examples include: Abstinence (choosing not to engage in sexual activity), Withdrawal (Removing the penis before ejaculation); Fertility Awareness (tracking menstrual cycles to avoid sex during fertile days).

Contraceptive effectiveness depends on consistent and correct use. Bodies react differently to hormonal methods, and it may take time to find one that works for you. The right method is one that fits your life, aligns with your values, and makes you feel in control of your reproductive choices.

If you want to learn about any of the contraceptive methods listed above, feel free to check out Planned Parenthood’s Birth Control Webpage.

Sexually Transmitted Infections, or STIs, are a common and normal part of human sexuality. Learning about them is one of the most important steps you can take to protect your health and the health of your partner(s). Despite lingering stigma, STIs are incredibly widespread, treatable, and, in many cases, preventable.

You may have heard the term STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) used interchangeably with STI. Here’s the difference: using the term infection refers to the presence of a virus, bacteria, or parasite in the body, and acknowledges that they don’t always lead to symptoms. “STI” is now more commonly used - it acknowledges that many people carry infections without symptoms and helps reduce unnecessary stigma, shame, or fear.

In fact, STIs are very common. More than 25 million new infections occur every year in the United States. Among them, over 1.25 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis were reported in young people between the ages of 15 and 24 in 2021 alone. These numbers reflect not carelessness, but how easily infections can spread, often without any noticeable signs.

How STIs Spread

STIs are primarily transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral sex, but they can also spread through close skin-to-skin contact, especially with infections like herpes and HPV. In some cases, STIs can be passed during childbirth, through breastfeeding, or via shared sex toys that haven’t been cleaned between uses. It’s important to understand that STIs don’t spread through casual contact - things like hugging, sharing food, or sitting on toilet seats won’t transmit an infection.

Types of STIs

There are three main types of STIs, categorized by the organism that causes them: bacterial, viral, and parasitic.

• Bacterial STIs, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, are caused by bacteria and are typically cured with a short course of antibiotics. Once treated, the infection is gone, but it’s still possible to get re-infected if exposed again.

• Viral STIs are caused by viruses, and while they can’t be cured, most can be managed effectively with medication. This category includes HPV (human papillomavirus), HIV (human immunodeficiency virus), herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2), and hepatitis A, B, and C. Vaccines and pre-exposure medications are available for some viral STIs, like HPV, hepatitis B, and HIV, which can greatly reduce your risk.
• Parasitic STIs, including pubic lice (commonly known as crabs) and scabies, are less common, but still possible. These infections are caused by tiny organisms that live on the skin or in hair and are spread through close physical contact. Some are treatable with over-the-counter medications, while others may require a prescription.

Recognizing (or Not) the Signs

One of the most challenging things about STIs is that many people who have them experience no symptoms at all. When symptoms do appear, they can vary widely. They might include genital sores or bumps, unusual discharge, painful urination, itching, or discomfort during sex. But because so many STIs don’t show symptoms, regular testing is the only way to know your status for sure. If at any point, something feels off about your body, you should seek attention from a medical provider. 

If you test positive for an STI, it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions such as relief, anxiety, confusion, and even shame, but this diagnosis does not define who you are. A diagnosis is simply information, not a judgment on your character. STIs are incredibly common and can be treated or managed. Take a deep breath, ask your provider questions, and make a plan for treatment or symptom management. If you need to share your status with a partner, it might feel awkward, but open communication helps everyone stay healthy, and it’s a moment to model honesty and care. Remember: you are not dirty, broken, or alone - you’re simply human, and taking charge of your health is a powerful, affirming act.

Prevention

There are many ways to reduce your risk of contracting or spreading an STI. Barrier methods, like condoms, internal condoms, and dental dams, can help prevent transmission, especially when used consistently and correctly. Getting vaccinated against HPV and hepatitis B offers additional protection. And if you or a partner are at risk for HIV, medications like PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) or PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) can significantly reduce the chance of infection.

Perhaps most importantly, open communication with your partner(s) and regular testing can go a long way. If you’re sexually active, especially with multiple or new partners, talk to a healthcare provider about how often you should be tested.

If you want to learn about any of the infections listed above, feel free to check out Planned Parenthood’s Sexually Transmitted Infection Webpage.

Sexual health is a fundamental part of your overall well-being. At Lewis & Clark, there are a variety of resources available to support you in taking care of your body, your relationships, and your peace of mind. From free safer sex supplies to counseling and medical care, you’re not alone in navigating your needs.

On-Campus Resources:

• Feminist Student Union (FSU) is a student-led organization that offers free safer sex items and emergency contraception, available to any student who needs them. If you have questions, want to get involved, or need a specific resource, you can reach out at fsu@lclark.edu or connect with them on Instagram at @fsu_lc.
• Student Health Center: located in the Fowler Student Center (exterior entrance facing Frank Manor House), can support your clinical care, such as STI testing, pregnancy screening, birth control counseling, and prescriptions, and more. Contact them at health@lclark.edu or 503-768-7165.
• Health Promotion and Wellness (HPW): offers both resources and non-clinical one-on-one conversations to support your health and decision-making. Their focus includes safer sex, sexual health education, harm reduction, and more. You’ll find free safer sex items available right outside their office in Fowler Student Center Room 110. Contact that at healthed@lclark.edu or call 503-768-8225 to learn more about their resources and programming.
• Student Counseling Center: located in Odell Residence Hall (exterior basement entrance), provides support for your mental health and is available to talk about issues related to sexual health, identity, relationships, trauma, and more. You can make an appointment at counsel@lclark.edu or by calling 503-768-7160.
• Case Management: located in Albany Quadrangle Room 206L (inside the Office of Student Accessibility), can help when you’re unsure where to turn or need support navigating a complicated situation. They can help you identify resources, both on and off campus, and build your self-advocacy skills. Reach out to gabyh@lclark.edu or call 503-768-7156.
• For students who have experienced sexual or interpersonal violence, Confidential Advocates offer a non-judgmental, private space to talk and find support. They can help you explore your options, access resources, and make informed decisions without triggering a formal reporting process. To speak with an advocate, email confidentialadvocate@lclark.edu.

Trusted Online Resources

• Planned Parenthood: Planned Parenthood provides comprehensive, accessible information on all aspects of sexual and reproductive health—STIs, birth control, consent, healthy relationships, and more. They also offer a health center locator and virtual visits.
• Bedsider: Run by Power to Decide, Bedsider is a judgment-free, youth-friendly resource about birth control options, where to get them, and what to expect. Also covers topics like emergency contraception, sex, and relationships.
  
• Scarleteen: A youth-centered site with frank and friendly education about sex, identity, relationships, STIs, contraception, communication, and more. Offers interactive tools, advice columns, and forums.
  
• Love Is Respect: A project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Love is Respect is focused on educating young people about healthy relationships, consent, and setting boundaries. They offer live chat and a texting hotline for support.
• One Love Foundation Offers engaging videos, toolkits, and workshops on identifying healthy vs. unhealthy relationship behaviors.